Mixing with the kids

To the right, I have posted a picture of our nephew Paul. He was an amazing young man, filled with intellect and promise....

Because of him, I'm now a member of Classmates.com and Facebook.com. My youngest son is chagrined and put out that I would do such a thing! These sorts of online things are not meant for old ladies, for Pete's sake! He cringes when I mention my page. Of course, I know what he means. Several of my cousins' sons and daughters are also on my page and, of course, things are said by their friends and, by them as well, that would make their parents turn beet red in embarassment.

So why did I join up with the youth in their quest for eternal friendship? Because that's what I was looking for - places my nephew Paul may have visited and friends he may have had. I was looking for anything that just might connect me to him. I had to join the forums in order to view the posts. And that's when I decided it was fun! There are times when hubby is watching sports or working on the computer when I want to talk. And, so talking online helps fulfill that need.

You can not hide, I want to scream to this son. Your actions will be seen. Just like when I was growing up. If I was bad at school, mom would find out. Then she would give me a spanking at home. Not to mention, the spanking the nuns gave me. Today, kids are invincible, or so they think. But as smart as Paul was, he gave in to the most extreme invincibility - death.

We are still at a loss as to why. He had everything, was beloved by many, and still, something was missing. Methinks it was the staggering doubts he had about God, our God, everyone's God. It is difficult to believe and even more so, for those who want to explain everything in intellectual terms. Just accepting. Just believing. It is hard. But what IS the alternative? Tonight is the second and final goodbye to Paul. The hardest question we have to ask is why?

Times - they are achangin'

Gee, ya think? The governor of Illinois is being impeached as we speak and Geraldo chased him down in the parking lot of the show The View. Geraldo is gutsy to say the least - drama king and all. But, why mention Bogla-whatever? It's the state of the economy - big and little people are losing their jobs. Some deserve to lose it (let him have his day in court before we chastise and judge him) and others are just victims of the economy. So what can we do to insulate ourselves from creeping problems that might take us over? From the voice of experience, begin by connecting with your inner spirit. . . .

1. Remember you are a good person, even if you can't find a job or have lost your job.

2. Remember to have integrity (hint to the politicians out there who think they are above the law).

3. Even if you have not planned for a catastrophe, start a rainy day fund NOW for something fun to do. It could be a night out with your significant other. Just because you are down and out doesn't mean you can't have a little fun sometime. Even if that means collecting pop bottles and cashing them in - start a savings of some sort and establish a goal for that savings. My goal is to have enough money for food while traveling in Romania in September (ticket was from airline miles).

4. Focus on the most important bills you need to pay. Duh, that means rent and utilities and food. You can certainly cut down on food a lot. Learn to eat leftovers!

5. Eat nutritious meals and monitor the amount of food you eat. Sometimes when I'm depressed, I feel lethargic and just reach out to the nearest fast food restaurant - cheap and delicious - if you know what I mean. Stop. Reassess what calories are in those treats and eat accordingly.

6. Get enough rest. Yesterday I slept until 5 pm. I was able to work from then until midnight on some writing I'm doing. But I feel a heck of a lot better today.

7. Make sure you are taking all your medication and if you can't afford it - ask for samples from your doctor.

8. Talk to a few close friends or see a therapist, but don't tell everybody all your problems. No one wants to be around a sad sack.

9. Exercise. I'm lying about this one. I don't do it. Hate it. Don't even understand how others can possibly like it. But I'm really working on this one. Just once around the block. My problem is I am so lethargic it's hard to get up and dressed, much less go outside. I'd much rather sit on the computer or read. Get up off your duff and MOVE! It doesn't even help me if a buddy tries to convince me. I'm set in my ways and it's hard to change....

10. PRAY. Last, but not least!

They're everywhere! They're everywhere!

Ok, so today I went to do a few errands and I almost went crazy (ok, I'm already there, so I just advanced a few levels)! Everywhere I went there were old people and I mean OLD people! Four decided to each back their cars out of Roths' at the same time. But it seemed like an hour rather than a few seconds. I was seething. Then on the way to MAPS to change my pin #, about fifty of them were also turning into MAPS. What is this? Did the nursing home release them all at once? I thought...then I realized that I was one of them - a senior citizen getting all her errands done before school let out. I never realized there was a life outside of school. So when I got to the doctor's office for a bag of sample pills, I muttered to the receptionists, "God, thank you. I needed these. I was ready to mess up some old people...." They laughed profusely and as I left I could see them nodding their heads. Yup. They thought I was one of them, too. Funny how we all see ourselves as different. Maybe even better than others. But we're not. We're all basically the same, driven by the same needs, some stronger than others. Today I needed inner peace. Peace some think a little pill can give you. But the true peace was when I stopped and laughed and thanked God for a sense of humor.

Unconditional love. Wow. What is that and where can I get some? It's rare in this hectic society. It's rare in this world, but I can guarantee you it is there. I have a wonderful neighbor who is busier than I at times. So we don't get to celebrate with one another or just sit and watch a movie, even if the invitation has been extended. Rather than sulk and get hurt, I say to myself, "This is my friend and nothing, but nothing will come between our friendship." And that, my friends, is what unconditional love is.

I remember when I was younger my mother said to my son, "If you do that again, grandma won't love you." I was in shock! I don't think she meant it the way it came out, but, honey, let me tell you, it sunk in. What a painful barb and then it came back to me slowly. Yup. She did that to us when we were growing up. She could turn that love on and off. And still does. It's hurtful. It's painful and it's destructive. But rather than dwell on it, I realize I love my mom no matter what. No ifs, shoulds, would haves or could haves. She is my mom and that's that. That's unconditional love. Don't judge one another so easily. Just accept that love. Maybe, just maybe, we will have fewer emotional problems, divorce, crimes, and hate, if we just learn to love for love's sake. God is love, you know. . . .And so is Gracie. I see God in my little granddaughter every day - all I have to do is go online and check her mama's blog out - I see a new side every day. Ahhhh. My Gracie and Love fix all in one!

And it was done....

Ever get just tired of saying you are gonna do something? You wait. You persevere. You even work on the project every day. And then one day, you say, it's just done. I'm finished. It's all I can do anymore. Well, here's one for ya - Stephanie and I just finished our book and signed up with a publisher - so in four months, our book The Twin Within will be published and available via Amazon.com, AuthorHouse.com, and, hopefully, Border's and Powells. It's been a strenuous and rocky road these past four years, but we just have to let it go. If we were to make our project perfect, it would never get done. Consider, "Winning isn't always finishing first. Sometimes winning is just finishing." Manuel Diotte

If you want a sneak peak, email us at todayspiritualwoman@gmail.com and we'll send you the prologue and a few sample chapters to tide you over and to whet your appetite. This ain't your mama's kind of book, or maybe it is! :) Lola & Steph

U2 and why?

Our nephew Paul enjoyed (no, loved, adored, identified with) the group U-2. I am an old woman and don't really know much about them, but Susan, the love of his life, writes in another blog that 40 was one of his favorite songs....so, here's to Paul and may you live forever in our hearts!

I waited patiently for the Lord

He inclined and heard my cry

He brought me up out of the pit

Out of the mire of clay

I will sing, sing a new song

I will sing, sing a new song

How long to sing this song

How long to sing this song

How long, how long, how long

How long to sing this song

He set my feet upon a rock

And made my footsteps firm

Many will see

Many will see and hear

I will sing, sing a new song

I will sing, sing a new song

I will sing, sing a new song

I will sing, sing a new song

How long to sing this song

How long to sing this song

How long, how long, how long

How long to sing this song

You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.
- Kahil Gibran, The Prophet

To read about bereavement and how to cope with it, please go to this helpful site:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A616231

All I know is that I cry, I write, I read, and I hug. What more can there be? (Oh, yes, praying is woven throughout all those experiences).

God bless you, each and everyone of you, my dear family!
Love, Lola