Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Life in the fast lane


Woohoo! It's been so long that I wrote for this blog I forgot how to get here. Took me a while to retrace my steps and figure it out. I think life is like that. Have you ever driven home and realized you don't remember crossing the bridge? You don't remember turning left to get to your own street? You were sort of on auto pilot? Well, sometimes we get to age 50 or 60 and can't remember how we got there.

I think that means we need to slow down and enjoy the life we have. How can we allow things and duties to so influence us that we forget that we are living, breathing creatures who need more than stuff. We need positive emotions. We need lovely experiences. We need to fill our lives with moments. Moments to remember. Not to slavishly endure.

Stop and take a moment to think about a quality experience you might enjoy this coming week. For one, I am going to visit my 9-month old granddaughter, Grace. I will just enjoy her smiles, her attempts at big girl crawling, and her giggle when I ask merrily, "Where is Gracie?" Then I will enjoy the Christmas gift my middle son and his wife gave to us - a dinner and movie on them at our home! To top it off, I am going to kidnap my husband and go somewhere on Sunday where no one can each us and just enjoy being with him. Now, that's quality. That's living. Those are moments I shall not forget.

Run, don't stop! Get out of the race. Plan something worthwhile and enjoyable for yourself this week.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Money don't buy you happiness - love does!


Small things can get to me, especially when they concern my family. I just don't understand how people can take an innocent statement and create drama over it. I have a few relatives who simply get mad at me no matter what I do. It's always drama time. I'm too old to take all this stress. I think I just want happiness and love in the last third of my life or quarter or ten percent of it - whatever is left - I want to be filled with love, acceptance, and kindness. You know what I mean. You make a comment and someone decides to make life miserable or negative. I don't think at sixty I like to be criticized. I have been there enough. I'm just tired. Just tired. My Mama died over two months ago and I am devastated by this loss. I miss her so. She is my sweetheart and angel. What keeps me going is that I know she is watching over me and I am trying to be the good daughter and keep her proud of me! I love her so. So, move over naysayers. Keep your criticism to yourself and learn more about love, acceptance, and nonjudgment. It's the way of the Lord. I hope I can be a good role model to you.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Happy Fourth of July!

Is this not the reason we live? A beautiful child to be treasured and loved forever. Dear Gracie, your Great Grandma Mary loved this country. I hope you will love it, too. We are proud of being Americans. We are proud of our beautiful country and I hope you loved the fireworks tonight. Grandpa and I sat on the deck watching them and thinking of you each moment, wondering if you were perhaps at the river bank watching them with your Mama and Daddy. Happy Fourth of July, precious Grandchild!
Love forever and a day, Grandma and Grandpa



Friday, July 3, 2009



I have been through many life changing situations in the past six weeks - the death of my beloved Mother, a brand new job, a new grandchild, school, make up papers, change in weather, and a total realization that I am solely responsible for my own happiness. My sons aren't. My husband isn't. My daughter in laws aren't. I am. So what can I do? If you check out the following url, you will find some wonderful people who are also looking to change their lives. Read their stories...And prosper!




Who Moved My Cheese

Book Review Part II
One morning, Sniff and Scurry, raced to the cheese room at the end of Corridor C and discovered the cheese was gone. They weren't really surprised because they had been checking the room each morning and had noticed that the supply was getting smaller.Their instincts took control. Out the door, sniffing the air, and racing out into the scary, dark maze in search of a new cheese supply.Later that day, Hem and Haw showed up at the cheese room. They were horrified. "Who moved my cheese," shouted Hem, along with several other emotional outbursts. No one had the right to take his cheese. Haw stood there in a daze, not really hearing all of Hem's rants and raves. He was dumbfounded that the cheese was gone.What would he do now? His little brain whirred with all manner of thoughts. Sadly, the two little people returned home, hungry.The next day, Hem and Haw returned to the cheese room at the end of Corridor C. They rationalized: the cheese will return. Everything will be as it once was. Day after day they returned, but the cheese never came back.Far away and much deeper into the dark, scary maze, Sniff and Scurry found a NEW CHEESE ROOM with more cheese than they'd ever seen before. Back at the end of Corridor C, Haw began to have thoughts that something needed to be done. He and his friend were growing weak and very thin due to the lack of food.He suggested that the two of them probably should go back out into the scary, dark maze of the unknown and search for a new cheese supply. Hem would not hear of it. That cheese had been his and whoever took it would bring it back; it was only right. The cheese would return. Everything would be like it once was.Each morning Sniff and Scurry would race to the NEW cheese room, check all around, and enjoy the many different cheeses, many more than had been in the OLD cheese room. And, each day, the two little people returned to Corridor C. Each day found them thinner and weaker.Haw made a decision. He would go out into the scary, dark maze of the unknown alone if Hem would not go with him. And he stepped out into the darkness, leaving his friend still waiting for the cheese to return.
Who Moved My Cheese
Book Review Part III
Day after day, Haw would move through the maze of the unknown seeking a new supply of cheese. More than once he thought about returning to his friend at the end of Corridor C. More than once his thoughts bordered on despair as he grew thinner and weaker. Yet he plundered onward.His decision to change his way of thinking was rewarded when he stepped into the NEW CHEESE ROOM and found Sniff and Scurry.Along his journey, Haw had left messages on the wall. He hoped Hem would follow, read the messages, and find his way."If you do not change, you can become extinct.""What would you do if you weren't afraid?""Smell the cheese often so you will know when it is getting old.""Movement in a new direction helps you find new cheese.""When you move beyond your fear, you feel free.""Imagining myself enjoying new cheese even before I find it, leads me to it."Larry's Comments:The simple little story of Who Moved My Cheese can be a powerful one for anyone facing life changes. Its message has helped Beth step forward into the scary, dark maze of the unknown after this last major change in her life.Life changes happen to everyone. It's how we deal with those changes that is important. We can "sniff" the winds of change and "scurry" in a new direction, or we can "hem and haw" around in our misery mad at the world because "no one had the right to move my cheese."Everyone faces challenges. This book is for everyone.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

My Beloved Mama....


Maria Helene Bojescul Sieren Kreis (Mary Kreis) was born in Stauceni, Romania on December 1, 1927 to Johan Bojescul and Otilia Mathilda Laufersweiler. She was the first of six children. The family left Romania in 1940 and emigrated to Germany and later on to Austria, where Mary was a student at the Mozarteum in Salzburg. The family was extremely close, with Father Johan teaching mathematics and physics and Mother Otilia teaching elementary school. Mary married William John Sieren of the United States Army and came to the United States via ship through Ellis Island. Later on her parents and two brothers Adrian and Silvius, followed her to the U.S. Mary loved the United States. Whenever anyone asked her where she was from, she said she was an American. She never looked back and never regretted coming to her new home.
After the death of her children’s father, Bill (William), Mary married Robert J. Kreis of Sacramento, CA. She is preceded in death by her husband Bob and her brother Adrian.
Mary leaves three adoring children and their respective spouses: Viola and Stephen Carlile, Evelyn Celli, and John and Leslie Sieren. She is survived by her loving grandsons and their wives: Stephen and Heather Carlile, David and Hollie Carlile, and John Carlile, as well as her precious first great granddaughter, Grace Elisabeth Carlile. She leaves behind a brother Silvius and wife Hildegunde Bojescul, a sister-in-law Miyuki Bojescul, as well as numerous nieces and nephews.
Mary loved singing and was an alto in her church’s (St. Lawrence) choir for many years. She lived the past two decades in California, but was in the process of moving to Oregon when she was called to her Maker. Funeral services will be in Keizer, Oregon at St. Edward’s Catholic Church at 9:30 am on Thursday, May 21, 2009 with a reception (shindig) afterwards in the church hall.
Burial will be in Sacramento, California with a second funeral mass at St. Lawrence Catholic Church in Sacramento – date and time to be determined soon.
Arrangements by Golden Mortuary in Salem, Oregon.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Enough whining


Even the most positive of us all has at one time or another a period of self-pity. Ok. I'm done. Now, let's look at what is good in life. I'm relatively healthy. I have my faculties (well, I think I do!) and I just got a new job. So, what is there to complain about? There are thousands or maybe even millions in this world who have no job, no home, and no food. I have nothing to complain about. I thank God that I am so blessed. So, how can I help those who are less fortunate than I? I believe we have the mandate to help out others no matter what our circumstances are. Family, friends, and strangers - in that order. Make sure our own home is taken care of - remembering not to excess - and then to make sure our friends understand we are there for them. And, then when making our way out into the world, show love and kindness wherever you are. Yeah, that is what is important - certainly not things. Enough of this stuff - I am too lazy to get up off the computer and do something. I need to read, draw, and write for class....You don't have to like everything that's good for you - Gracie knows that! :)

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Class makes me sick! Ranting and raving helps....


I wouldn't have believed it, but today it happened again. I got sick to my stomach, woozy, dizzy, too tired to actually do something, and my intestines were having a field day. And, what exactly prompted this condition? Thinking and trying to do my two paintings due tomorrow. I am drawing an absolute blank. Most of the class talk about the instructor and how poor she is - and I have to agree. She actually became irritated at me when I needed to have a cell phone on to vibrate in class - since I needed to stay in touch with my husband who had just experienced a small heart attack. I wouldn't have noticed it as much had not two other people came up to me to apologize for her. Wow. What is it that makes some teachers so unforgiving and untouchable? For one, inexperience. Secondly, youth. They think because they are teaching a college class they have power. And that power goes to their head. In my experience, these are the least effective instructors. I have had about three of them recently and one was the painting gal. The other one was a therapist who just didn't teach. How sad we have to pay good money for pathetic teaching. I don't get it, do you? Well, at least, I am reading more about Vincent van Gogh. I feel I understand the poor guy - he was haunted as well by these internal ghosts. Well, for one, mine are pretty well external. And soon gone....argh!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Every day is black history day - every day we should celebrate our land of color


Recently I wrote an article for the Oregon Reading Association's newsletter and I am reprinting it here. It is directed at ELL teachers. Please share this with all your teacher friends as well! Great list for multicultural books for parents and teachers as well....


To the left you will see a picture of Tony Dorsett when he met my two older sons many decades ago. Part of our misconception is that racism can be covert - like our thinking all blacks are great athletes. Wish it were true, however....

Recently as I processed the concept of racism with my own thought patterns it seems that discussions of racism suddenly seemed to be everywhere – even on television sitcoms. The Adventures of Old Christine last night had Christine and Wanda trying to integrate their women’s gym. Of course, when Wanda outdid Christine in recruiting black members, Christine found that her former image of herself – a democrat with NO racist tendencies – was challenged. She kept inadvertently saying the wrong thing. “I think I’m going black to my office.” Back and forth the dialogue hysterically portrayed the insecurities most whites feel about racism. Say the wrong word and I will be labeled racist is the common fear. Before your blood starts boiling, understand from where I am coming.
I just read Dr. Dorothy Tatum’s book, Why are all the black kids sitting together in the cafeteria? Now, at first this book enraged me and then later on as I continued reading (had to for a class; otherwise, I would have put it down after the first page), I realized I was being challenged to think out of the box, to think in a way that was very uncomfortable for me. I have always considered myself just one of the people of color. I have not identified with the white majority. I have always erred on the side of the minority. But when someone of color looks at me for the first time, I am identified with the white segment of society nevertheless.
So what does this have to do with ELL students and teaching? Racism is sometimes very overtly portrayed in the ELL classroom, especially when more than one language group is present. Even several years ago when I was teaching middle school ELL, one segment of the population that could easily be identified as white, became elitist in thought. They believed they were smarter and better than their brown counterparts. Their parents wanted them out of ELL as soon as possible. Some even signed papers to ensure they were not going to be grouped with the ELL population, even though their language needs indicated they needed that assistance. So what does this have to do with us today?
As a society we need to become more aware of the subtleties of racism in our lives and work on creating a world where racism no longer exists is still a difficult task at hand. Racism can be subtle. Hear anyone ever say how great black athletes are? What does that have to do with race? Ever hear comments such as Asians are so smart? These generalities are what still cling to our thought processes and continue to be avenues we need to first discuss with ourselves. The next step is more reading, more education. Read what people of color think. A great book that will help in understanding our President is his book, Dreams from my father. No matter what your politics are, reading this book will guarantee a clearer understanding of our President as a young biracial man in our society.
So what can we do in our classes to make sure that all our students feel valuable and appreciated? Black history month came and went. It’s a good start, but every month should be devoted to understanding the interwoven threads of color that make our country so beautiful.
We can see bias in the English Only movement and in local referendums where ELL and bilingual education are severely negated by mandates of one year of immersion only and so on. Those who are making those dictums are sadly not always the ones who are knowledgeable about language acquisition. All we can do as purveyors of knowledge is to make sure our students understand the real stories and the real science of language acquisition and acculturation. We can begin by reading texts that truly inspire and educate us. When I was teaching ELL social studies, I made sure I read The People’s History of the United States, which integrates the experience of all peoples into our land’s history. We are led to a clearer understanding of the true meaning of the slave movement. We feel the pain of our indentured servants as they enter this country. We understand the loneliness and pain of the Asian rail workers as they mercilessly work in the worst of conditions. These stories are not fiction. They are real. They are part of the oral tradition of our varied peoples. And, when we don’t understand or even become aware of those stories, then we are not capable of teaching our students effectively.
We can also make sure we impart to our students the value of being in this society for their particular group. Reading great books that tell these stories is tantamount to success. But if they can’t read those books, how do we manage to teach them? Some publishers are coming on board with ELL versions of various texts. Sadly, most are stories like Harry Potter. When I was teaching, I actually would redo chapters of books so my students would be able to understand the essence of each book. Ones that we loved included
Ages 7 - 9
Ada, Alma Flor. My Name Is Maria Isabel. Atheneum, 1993. (Latino)Maria, a third grader who's newly moved from Puerto Rico, is devastated when her teacher decides to call her "Mary" in order to distinguish from the other two Marias in the class. Proud of her name and heritage, Maria finds a way to make her teacher understand.
Bruchac, Joseph. The Story of the Milky Way: A Cherokee Tale. Dial, 1995. (Native American) The Milky Way legend tells of an elderly couple who chase the dog that stole their cornmeal into the night sky. The result was a collection of stars that formed into the Milky Way. Exquisite illustrations contribute to the story.
Bunting, Eve. So Far from the Sea. Clarion, 1998. (Asian American) Seven-year-old Laura Iwasaki travels with her family to visit her Grandfather's grave, at the site of the Manzanar War Relocation Camp. Laura's anger at the injustice to which her family was subjected makes other family members confront their own feelings as well.
Curtis, Gavin. The Bat Boy and His Violin. Simon & Schuster, 1998. (African American) Though Reginald likes nothing better than playing his violin, his father, as manager of one of the worst teams in the Negro Leagues, needs a bat boy. In an act of compromise, Reginald performs his duties while filling the dugout with Mozart, Bach, and Beethoven. His music soon acts as inspiration to the losing team.
Lin, Grace. The Ugly Vegetables. Charlesbridge, 1999. (Asian American) In a comfortable neighborhood setting, a girl and her mother dig their garden. While the neighbors' gardens bring sweet smelling flowers, the daughter notices that theirs reaps only ugly vegetables. All ends well, however, when the soup made from the vegetables tantalizes the neighbors into sharing the savory feast. Recipes included.
Steptoe, Javaka. In Daddy's Arms I Am Tall. Lee & Low, 1997. (African American) Powerful poems celebrate African American fathers and the universal bond between fathers and children. Inventive illustrations created with a variety of materials-found objects, torn and cut paper, photographs-are a perfect match for text.
Woodson, Jacqueline. We Had a Picnic This Sunday Past. Disney, 1998. (African American) An annual family picnic is the setting for hilarious descriptions and comments of family members and the food that is brought as each appear on the scene. The message here is that, for all the teasing and joking, the gathering of extended family is a time of pure joy.
Ages 9 - 12
Armstrong, Jennifer. Steal Away. Scholastic, 1993. (Multi-ethnic) In this story of friendship and betrayal, Susannah, ward of a slave owner, helps Bethlehem, a slave girl, escape to freedom. The story the two girls' escape is told alternately by the now elderly Bethlehem and Susannah to thirteen-year-old Mary.
Bruchac, Joseph. The Arrow over the Door. Dial, 1998. (Native American) In alternating chapters, the reader comes to know two fourteen-year-olds-one Quaker and one an Abenaki Indian, whose lives at the time of the Revolution eventually intersect. Based on an actual historical event, their meeting affects their lives in a deeply spiritual manner.
Grimes, Nikki. Jazmin's Notebook. Dial, 1998. (African American) This is life seen through the eyes of fourteen-year-old Jazmin, a girl living in Harlem in the 60s and who fills her journal with lots of laughs, anger and hope. In this book about growing up, Jazmin explores life's possibilities and realizes this is only the beginning.
Katz, Jane B. Messengers of the Wind: Native American Women Tell Their Life Stories. Ballantine, 1996. (Native American) A rich mosaic of powerful personal stories of Native American women. This collection is represented by grandmothers, mothers, artists, activists, daughters, and healers all speaking eloquently and passionately about their lives and experiences. An inspirational and eloquent text.
Martinez, Floyd. Spirits of the High Mesa. Arte Publico, 1997 (Latino) In a small village in Northern New Mexico, a young Hispanic boy is torn between the cultural values held by his grandfather and the lure of modern life in America. The text is often humorous and is rich in cultural detail and adventure.
Myers, Walter Dean. At Her Majesty's Request: An African Princess in Victorian England. Scholastic, 1999. (African American) Captivated by a packet of letters found in a London bookshop, Myers reconstructs the story of Sarah Forbes Bonetta, a child of royal African descent who was rescued by a British sea-captain. A celebrity of her day, Sarah became goddaughter of Queen Victoria. Illustrated with photos and drawings from the era, and including letters penned by Sarah and her friends, this book provides an intimate portrait of Sarah and her times.
Yep, Laurence. The Amah. Putnam, 1999. (Asian American) When Amy's mother takes the job as amah (nanny) for 12-year-old Stephanie, Amy must help out at home resulting in less time to practice her role in a school ballet. An authentic look at the struggles and conflicts of Chinese-American family life.
Yep has written several wonderful chapter books, so check out his website as well. Hopefully, you will become more comfortable in your own skin and be able to help others understand the same. Every month should be tapestry month – we are a land of wonderful threads of color and we need to make sure that our every action reflects this understanding and appreciation. May you grow new shoots of understanding as well this spring….

Thursday, February 26, 2009


I am wondering if we all understand the tenet of many people of color in our country - including those who now live here and those who have since left for better opportunities in their lives. This tenet is that it is, indeed, quite a racist land. In fact, I have heard many well-meaning fellow citizens proudly proclaiming, "Why, I don't have a racist bone in my body." Others still maintain that they don't see color. Hogwash! Then they must be blind! I have taken many multicultural classes in my lifetime and have even taught a few. I can tell you one thing. You will never ever understand what someone of color feels no matter how hard you try - if you are not one yourself. You may have extreme empathy, but true understanding can never come to you. I believe racism is a matter of learning - not education. Many educated people are the worst bigots I have ever met. The experiences and belief systems of an individual comprise the extent to which he or she is racist. Everyone is. Some just don't see it or know it when they are faced with it. Since this is supposed to be Black History Month - what have you done to get to know your neighbors of color? What have you done to educate and learn about the importance of the Asian, Black, and Hispanic culture to this state? If this is not important to you, then I suggest you read the following two books and THEN make a comment!
Why are all the black kids sitting together in the cafeteria? by Doctor Beverly Tatum
This book will entice you, challenge you and make you mad. But you will grow after reading it.
Dreams from my father by Barack Obama
Even though I didn't vote for BO, I still support him as my president and this book helped me understand from where he hails.
Two books not to be missed by any of us!

Monday, February 23, 2009


Oh, my goodness! SPAM mail, when viewed, offers the best of what the world has to offer. Did you know that with one click of my mouse that Michael will erase all my debt? Walmart is prepared to give me $1,000 just for answering a survey. I might have a job in England and I can have fun tonight. People are hiring, congratulating, donating, and inspiring me to no end. Not only do they care about my youth, my integrity, education, and livelihood, they also are concerned about my prowress in the bedroom, except that I am a girl and I don’t want anything lengthened! I can even get disguised blessings and great replica of designer watches. What is not to like about SPAM? Well, yeah, I know. It isn’t true. It’s a fairy tale, but one that entertained me today quite a bit!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Birthdays, Politics, and Spirituality




I've always assumed that politics could be something I avoided like the plague. I even thought at one time that it was cute to say how ignorant I was of politics. It was my way of being lazy, of being careless, of being a child still. We, as citizens of the greatest democracy on earth, are mandated to know the truth and by the truth we shall be set....FREE! Yeah, you said it, too. We all know that truism. But why are most of us, especially any of us who might be spiritually conservative, why are we quiet and allow those who are our liberal sisters to run us over and to dominate us with their rhetoric? Is it that we are not as informed as our liberal sisters? Is it that we naturally shirk from confrontation? Yes to all the above. But the first step to overcoming this fear is to confront it with education. I, for one, received an education of a lifetime last night when I attended a Lincoln birthday dinner in Salem. My friend Brenda invited me to attend with her and I thank her from the bottom of my heart.

What was so spectacular is that a black man spoke about why most American blacks are democrats, given that history reveals that the Republican Party has a far more impressive track record in Civil Rights legislation than the Democratic Party. Oh, he has facts to back it up. He further gives information that would make any conservative proud. But most was news to me. And I think his word would be news to you. Check out his website at http://www.wayneperryman.com/ and let the light shine on you!

What a birthday gift for Lincoln in a humble spokesman like Perryman. He humbled me and made me start thinking I need to inform myself of the truth. I may be highly educated, but am I learned?

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Email Wars!


^$#^^%#$$#@@$#$##$ -
If we saw that line in an email, most of us would interpret it as swear words, anger, frustration, etc. But, one day as I was typing, I had my fingers on all the wrong keys and something like this ensued: do zi fifn’y knoe ehsy yo fo. Interpret that! LOL, OMG, and WTF are all acronyms for some pretty clear statements. The world of techno-babble has evolved to the point where a larger percentage of people are texting instead of using face to face communication. Inevitably, there are going to be some problems interpreting those texts.
I know for a fact that when my mother is angry at me, she starts her email, which formerly consisted of snail mail or letters written to me, her oldest daughter, with Dear Daughter…. I can be sure I am in for a lecture then. Even as a senior citizen, I am still subject to my mother’s stern words if I don’t tow the line. Now if the body of her email has all caps, then I’d better not read the message or I am in for a lot of anguish!
I, for one, also use a lot of smiley faces, LOLs, and exclamation marks to enhance the power of my email, but a recent discussion via email to someone who really doesn’t know me ended up in a fiasco I never want to repeat. So, listen up, kids, it’s time to reassess your emailing/texting viewpoints.
Recently, on the John Tesh radio show, he gave out some suggestions for making a relationship last and one of the things he mentioned was that we should never text during an argument. That makes sense. We write what we think and send it without really thinking. What’s the first thought that comes to mind when someone is mean to you? If you are anyway near normal, that first thought is to tell that person where to go and that place is hot and certainly not pleasant. But after thinking about it for a while, most people will realize that sending someone someplace bad does not really solve the problem long term. After all, we have no control of where someone goes in the afterlife, so we need to focus on the here and now.
If you have a conflict with someone, wait to talk to that person directly, and, if that is not possible, be sure you engage the services of your land line or cell phone. That way you can hear the intonation in the person’s voice. You can hear the sincerity or lack thereof equally well. You can ask questions and you can truly resolve issues more clearly.
So, while texting and email are great vehicles for common interaction, nothing beats talking face to face or engaging in a conversation over the phone. Clearly we are social beings and technology sometimes doesn’t help us in that arena. So go over to Jane’s house and tell her how you feel. Look at her body language and her eyes when she speaks to you. A better relationship is on the way if you heed your words and communicate with your entire being.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Friday, February 6, 2009

Memories


Today I woke up crying! I was reliving some horrid events that happened several years ago. It was just like they were happening now. So I am reminded about how powerful our unconscious mind is. We are not always in complete control as we would like to think. So, anyway, I'm forcing myself to have memories, but of good and fun things, like our trip to see the Anderson clan in Minnesota. It was a wonderful trip - right before the R convention. The best part of a trip is always the city tour. And, if I can pick 'em, they are usually the boat cruise type. And this one was both. I can still remember sitting on that boat, bathing in the sun, feeling the crisp air push my matted hair off my forehead. Ah. Another cruise I took is on the Yantze River in 2001. That was another precious memory I will call upon when the dark of the night chooses less positive memories for me to relive. Are you dreaming happy things? I hope so. :)

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Curley haired baby!

Oh, my! This little girl has learned to manipulate her mommy and daddy so much already and she is just barely two months old. At least her mom has a great sense of humor. When things are going great, I notice mom writes in the first person, but when things are hectic, all of a sudden, baby has a voice! It's wonderful seeing the interaction between young mother and child. These days are fleeting by so rapidly, pretty soon baby will be walking, talking, and going to school. It is so important that our little ones feel that great sense of security and love provided by family and friends.

Sometimes I want to be a kid again with only little problems. Sometimes growing up isn't what we thought it might be. But as I look at some of the older than me generation, I see that they do lapse into a sort of second childhood. So let's play while we can. Let's enjoy the little things like a warm drink after a long bath. Let's enjoy letting our hair just curl up and be natural. Let's stop worrying about what could have been and what could be. Let's just enjoy the moment. Ahhh, Gracie has the right idea! She can teach us all a lot about seizing the day. Carpe diem, all!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Mixing with the kids

To the right, I have posted a picture of our nephew Paul. He was an amazing young man, filled with intellect and promise....

Because of him, I'm now a member of Classmates.com and Facebook.com. My youngest son is chagrined and put out that I would do such a thing! These sorts of online things are not meant for old ladies, for Pete's sake! He cringes when I mention my page. Of course, I know what he means. Several of my cousins' sons and daughters are also on my page and, of course, things are said by their friends and, by them as well, that would make their parents turn beet red in embarassment.

So why did I join up with the youth in their quest for eternal friendship? Because that's what I was looking for - places my nephew Paul may have visited and friends he may have had. I was looking for anything that just might connect me to him. I had to join the forums in order to view the posts. And that's when I decided it was fun! There are times when hubby is watching sports or working on the computer when I want to talk. And, so talking online helps fulfill that need.

You can not hide, I want to scream to this son. Your actions will be seen. Just like when I was growing up. If I was bad at school, mom would find out. Then she would give me a spanking at home. Not to mention, the spanking the nuns gave me. Today, kids are invincible, or so they think. But as smart as Paul was, he gave in to the most extreme invincibility - death.

We are still at a loss as to why. He had everything, was beloved by many, and still, something was missing. Methinks it was the staggering doubts he had about God, our God, everyone's God. It is difficult to believe and even more so, for those who want to explain everything in intellectual terms. Just accepting. Just believing. It is hard. But what IS the alternative? Tonight is the second and final goodbye to Paul. The hardest question we have to ask is why?

Monday, January 26, 2009

Times - they are achangin'


Gee, ya think? The governor of Illinois is being impeached as we speak and Geraldo chased him down in the parking lot of the show The View. Geraldo is gutsy to say the least - drama king and all. But, why mention Bogla-whatever? It's the state of the economy - big and little people are losing their jobs. Some deserve to lose it (let him have his day in court before we chastise and judge him) and others are just victims of the economy. So what can we do to insulate ourselves from creeping problems that might take us over? From the voice of experience, begin by connecting with your inner spirit. . . .

1. Remember you are a good person, even if you can't find a job or have lost your job.

2. Remember to have integrity (hint to the politicians out there who think they are above the law).

3. Even if you have not planned for a catastrophe, start a rainy day fund NOW for something fun to do. It could be a night out with your significant other. Just because you are down and out doesn't mean you can't have a little fun sometime. Even if that means collecting pop bottles and cashing them in - start a savings of some sort and establish a goal for that savings. My goal is to have enough money for food while traveling in Romania in September (ticket was from airline miles).

4. Focus on the most important bills you need to pay. Duh, that means rent and utilities and food. You can certainly cut down on food a lot. Learn to eat leftovers!

5. Eat nutritious meals and monitor the amount of food you eat. Sometimes when I'm depressed, I feel lethargic and just reach out to the nearest fast food restaurant - cheap and delicious - if you know what I mean. Stop. Reassess what calories are in those treats and eat accordingly.

6. Get enough rest. Yesterday I slept until 5 pm. I was able to work from then until midnight on some writing I'm doing. But I feel a heck of a lot better today.

7. Make sure you are taking all your medication and if you can't afford it - ask for samples from your doctor.

8. Talk to a few close friends or see a therapist, but don't tell everybody all your problems. No one wants to be around a sad sack.

9. Exercise. I'm lying about this one. I don't do it. Hate it. Don't even understand how others can possibly like it. But I'm really working on this one. Just once around the block. My problem is I am so lethargic it's hard to get up and dressed, much less go outside. I'd much rather sit on the computer or read. Get up off your duff and MOVE! It doesn't even help me if a buddy tries to convince me. I'm set in my ways and it's hard to change....

10. PRAY. Last, but not least!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

They're everywhere! They're everywhere!


Ok, so today I went to do a few errands and I almost went crazy (ok, I'm already there, so I just advanced a few levels)! Everywhere I went there were old people and I mean OLD people! Four decided to each back their cars out of Roths' at the same time. But it seemed like an hour rather than a few seconds. I was seething. Then on the way to MAPS to change my pin #, about fifty of them were also turning into MAPS. What is this? Did the nursing home release them all at once? I thought...then I realized that I was one of them - a senior citizen getting all her errands done before school let out. I never realized there was a life outside of school. So when I got to the doctor's office for a bag of sample pills, I muttered to the receptionists, "God, thank you. I needed these. I was ready to mess up some old people...." They laughed profusely and as I left I could see them nodding their heads. Yup. They thought I was one of them, too. Funny how we all see ourselves as different. Maybe even better than others. But we're not. We're all basically the same, driven by the same needs, some stronger than others. Today I needed inner peace. Peace some think a little pill can give you. But the true peace was when I stopped and laughed and thanked God for a sense of humor.

Thursday, January 22, 2009


Unconditional love. Wow. What is that and where can I get some? It's rare in this hectic society. It's rare in this world, but I can guarantee you it is there. I have a wonderful neighbor who is busier than I at times. So we don't get to celebrate with one another or just sit and watch a movie, even if the invitation has been extended. Rather than sulk and get hurt, I say to myself, "This is my friend and nothing, but nothing will come between our friendship." And that, my friends, is what unconditional love is.


I remember when I was younger my mother said to my son, "If you do that again, grandma won't love you." I was in shock! I don't think she meant it the way it came out, but, honey, let me tell you, it sunk in. What a painful barb and then it came back to me slowly. Yup. She did that to us when we were growing up. She could turn that love on and off. And still does. It's hurtful. It's painful and it's destructive. But rather than dwell on it, I realize I love my mom no matter what. No ifs, shoulds, would haves or could haves. She is my mom and that's that. That's unconditional love. Don't judge one another so easily. Just accept that love. Maybe, just maybe, we will have fewer emotional problems, divorce, crimes, and hate, if we just learn to love for love's sake. God is love, you know. . . .And so is Gracie. I see God in my little granddaughter every day - all I have to do is go online and check her mama's blog out - I see a new side every day. Ahhhh. My Gracie and Love fix all in one!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

And it was done....


Ever get just tired of saying you are gonna do something? You wait. You persevere. You even work on the project every day. And then one day, you say, it's just done. I'm finished. It's all I can do anymore. Well, here's one for ya - Stephanie and I just finished our book and signed up with a publisher - so in four months, our book The Twin Within will be published and available via Amazon.com, AuthorHouse.com, and, hopefully, Border's and Powells. It's been a strenuous and rocky road these past four years, but we just have to let it go. If we were to make our project perfect, it would never get done. Consider, "Winning isn't always finishing first. Sometimes winning is just finishing." Manuel Diotte
If you want a sneak peak, email us at todayspiritualwoman@gmail.com and we'll send you the prologue and a few sample chapters to tide you over and to whet your appetite. This ain't your mama's kind of book, or maybe it is! :) Lola & Steph

Sunday, January 18, 2009

U2 and why?


Our nephew Paul enjoyed (no, loved, adored, identified with) the group U-2. I am an old woman and don't really know much about them, but Susan, the love of his life, writes in another blog that 40 was one of his favorite songs....so, here's to Paul and may you live forever in our hearts!


I waited patiently for the Lord
He inclined and heard my cry
He brought me up out of the pit
Out of the mire of clay
I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song
How long to sing this song
How long to sing this song
How long, how long, how long
How long to sing this song
He set my feet upon a rock
And made my footsteps firm
Many will see
Many will see and hear
I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song
How long to sing this song
How long to sing this song
How long, how long, how long
How long to sing this song

Friday, January 16, 2009


You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.

- Kahil Gibran, The Prophet

To read about bereavement and how to cope with it, please go to this helpful site:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A616231

All I know is that I cry, I write, I read, and I hug. What more can there be? (Oh, yes, praying is woven throughout all those experiences).

God bless you, each and everyone of you, my dear family!
Love, Lola

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Information about Paul from a friend....


http://www.foldedspace.org/2009/01/15/hurt/
Listen to the song on the above link. Here are the lyrics:

HURT by Johnny Cash

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real

The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair

Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I will keep myself
I would find a way

A beautiful day until....


The sun was shining today and it was a beautiful day to walk. I met with a wonderful woman about a charter school in Silverton and it was like I was meeting myself forty years ago! She was vibrant, random, and a delight with whom to speak. Then I met with my friend Alla who is a dedicated and talented Romanian-American artist, whose work I will post later on this month on this blog. We decided to walk and went by my husband's office....
Until...the news came out of his mouth - the news I could barely comprehend or believe. The news that one of our beloved nephews had committed suicide. My heart stood still and gushes of hot tears suddenly produced themselves flowing out my eyes. What? When? It doesn't matter. It just is. Please keep him in your prayers - the little boy I remember was now a grown man living in Eugene. Now he is no more. And if we don't have faith and spirituality, then what is this life worth? Why even bother?

I am sure most of us sit and wonder what we could have done. Could I have been a more attentive aunt? Could I have written him more emails? Would he have been happier had others invited him out more? Nonsense. Nothing can be done about what was. We just have to worry about what is and what is to come. Love one another. Care for each other, and please know that I am here for any of you - Nothing is too trivial or too important not to share with me. I am here, dear ones. You are all in my prayers.

Always!
Lola and friends

SOS


That had a special meaning to me when I was growing up - SOS - it was an army concoction created at home by my dad. It was creamed beef on toast. But the army has its own vernacular and it's not something I'd print on the net with my name nearby! But it was warm, comfort food and the two new things on this blog are dear to my heart: first is the baby blog about my little granddaughter and my amazing daughter-in-law. The second is a serious attempt to engage Catholics in serious conversation about faith and religion. It is an open forum for all people, but will not tolerate abusive and/or impolite language. Check 'em out and be the first on your block to get some more SOS! Or is it TLC? Or GFG? (Grace from God)

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Just in from one of my favorite guys....

WR is an in-law and a good one at that. He reads our blog and shakes his head, but just sent me the following inspirational video! I think we should all be thankful for our gifts. This man surely is....www.maniacworld.com/are-you-going-to-finish-strong.html

Do you have to be religious to be spiritual?


I don't know, but when I look in the eyes of my granddaughter, Gracie, I see something beyond eyes. I see a world of love and life. I see her spirit. Is that religious? Gee, it doesn't matter to me what we call it. I call it the essence of life - the essence that Jesus was talking about. The essence that Buddha was talking about. The karma that permeates the world. Yes, I know. Now the religious right are saying, "Wow, that's not a truly religious woman." They are spending so much of their time trying to pinpoint infidels, they are not able to live a single moment of peace. I, on the other hand, only profess to believe. I am weak, yet I am not judgmental. Believe what you may - I believe all humanity belongs to God's kingdom, wherever it may be....Have a great humpday (sixties lingo for Wednesday - the middle of the week). Blessings and much peace, Lola

Monday, January 12, 2009







Ok, I went to bed mad. #1 Mistake. Then I woke up sad. #2 Mistake. Took a glass of wine and a anti-anxiety drug to even get me to sleep. #3 Mistake. We make mistakes all the time. Our Lord allows us to do so because we have FREE WILL!!!!! Sometimes, I wish he would just cradle me in his arms and make all the decisions and take care of me. Sometimes, just sometimes, being an adult absolutely is the pits.


What makes us mad? Money. Relationships. Lack of both. Not being in control. Feeling like no one understands. Heck, I feel like I did when I was a teenager. No one understands. Whine, whine. No one feels the way I do. Whine some more.

I need to shape up and get into the beauty of the day. What does it matter that I have problems just like the rest of the world? Whining and crying doesn't fix it, nor do sedatives. I know I will just do something positive right now. Like close this post and look at my lovely granddaughter's picture. She smiles at me on my desk and makes me smile all over. What a great miracle she is! Thank you, Lord, for the gifts I do have! Where is my Bible? I think I can find solace in prayer. I'm not expert at this, you know, but I am trying!


God love you and give you roses today (but remember those roses have little prickly things that hurt, too!)!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Sunday morning and church


There used to be a time when I didn't question getting up early on Sunday morn and going to church, but today is one of those times when I am wondering if it's all worth the effort - I'd much rather stay home in my fuzzy blue bathrobe and sleep. I can get the sermon online and even read the bulletin online, so what's the problem?


Ok, if you buy that, you weren't raised Catholic - or at least not in the 50s and 60s. OMG. Everything was a sin, including not going to church on Sunday, so guilt sets in. Spirituality vs. selfishness. I'd rather rest. Didn't Christ say that even HE rested on the seventh day. Isn't this the seventh day? Or was that yesterday? Well, taking a painting class all day Saturday necessitates my belief that today is the 7th day for me.


Things I ponder: will I go to hell for not worshiping at Christ's home today? Isn't He everywhere? Isn't He within me? Why would He punish me for getting a little rest and getting all that art and other homework done? Why don't I just get up and go? I hate to go all by myself. Sons are all grown with their own families and aren't attending Catholic churches. Husband rarely did. Excuses. Excuses. I love the Lord as best I can, but I fight this rule...

PRAY FOR ME!


ON a lighter note, I celebrate my granddaughter and thank God for her daily. I pray for her health and happiness. Note I didn't say wealth. 'Cause we all know you can't buy that. So, Happy one month + for Gracie and I guess I'll read some scripture while drinking a hot cup of tea with honey. God, I love you! Thank you for sending me Gracie! She's at the top of this blog - she's at the top of my list of loves....Love, Lola

Friday, January 9, 2009

Setting a new trend I don't really care for much....


I must be following in my new granddaughter's footsteps - mixing up night and day. I'm all set for bed. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, took my meds, and went to lay in bed. And lay. And lay. Eyes wide open. No sleep boogers in my eyes. Just laying there for what???? So I get up on the advice of my hubby and take a glass of wine. And here I sit at the computer, my latest play toy. Gracie stays up at night, too. Maybe we should spend the nights together. Gracie and grandma just chillin'. Here's a picture of my little grandbaby - she's just 1 month old and a few days and her daddy is playing with her. I think he's trying to sneak in a few winks, don't you?

Good morning! It's 10:33 and I was up from 3 am until about 5 am. I heard older people do this, but why???? Thank goodness all I have to do today is clean and write; otherwise, I would go freakin' crazy or sleep on the job. The benefits of being poor and at home, eh?


I am currently taking a class in adolescent psychopathology and our Tuesday assignment is to present the decade in which we were adolescents. All I remember is drinking, dancing, studying, and working. I don't remember much other than seeing Kennedy the day before he died (he was about ten feet from me) in San Antonio. That was a week of sadness, however. I also LOVED Elvis. Here he is last year giving my octogenarian mom her first ever personal concert in Vegas!


I tried to get other baby boomers to add to my memories by posting on Craigslist (I know - I was really bored and it was 3 am) and received some of the following: pot, more pot, Vietnam, LSD, drugs, hallucinogenics, strobe lights, dancing, and some more pot. Funny how I didn't get into any of that except maybe for the dancing. I was a pretty quiet girl who tried to find love. Isn't that what this is all about? This journey we call life? Aren't we all after the same thing?


That's why I think you will like our Winter, 2009 issue of Today's Spiritual Woman. We try to help one another find satisfaction and peace in this world. All you have to do is sign up to follow this blog and you will receive your free copies every quarter. FREE. Nothing to buy. Just read and maybe even send us some of your ideas!


Here's hoping you have a bright and sunny day!

Love,

Lola and friends

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Keep on planning....

I have a very good friend I will call Hap. Hap has been through tragedies most of us could not withstand, including a daughter murdered, a grandchild dying, and now another one dying as we speak in its mother's womb. All in all, most of us would be devastated, yet Hap is one of the happiest, centered individuals I know. How can this be? Of course, her number one salvation is a deep love of our Lord. She is deeply committed to her faith and practicing it rather than just talking about it.

But she has another few secrets I am sure she would not mind if I shared with you....

1. She is a voracious learner. She reads. She joins community groups. She surrounds herself with positive and productive people. Her husband is more of an introvert, but she does not allow that to stop her.

2. She is gracious. Sometimes I get stressed out and want to vent - she listens, but has never vented or talked badly about another human being. Sort of puts me to shame, ya know?

3. She loves to travel and always has an experience planned. She has helped me in this way, for I would never have thought I could afford to go to China or Jamaica or Europe, but with Hap, all things are possible. I consider her my guardian angel.

So keep this lovely woman in your prayers. We are both planning to go to Romania (my mother's birthplace) in September and her gift to me was a piggy bank to save up coins so that when I go I can do what I want to do without worrying. A true friend! Today I wish you all good friends and good attitudes. We can accomplish all this with the blessings of our God.

Peace, love, and happy adventures!
Lola, Hap, and the rest of the gang

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Happy New Year!

Happy 2009 to all of you! It's been a long and wonderful year preparing to share with you our new magaletter (magazine + newsletter format). We are so blessed to have many wonderful and caring women writing for us. We are interested in women and their spiritual journeys from all around the globe. We are all sisters and invite our brothers to read and share with us as well.

We are accepting submissions for our Spring, 2009 issue now. We accept personal journey journals, poetry, book reviews, and much more. Our magaletter is free as a PDF online. For those who wish to subscribe, the cost is $10 per year for all four issues, including shipping and handling. We just want to help one another in this journey we call life!

My name is Lola and even though I have been on this earth for decades, I have been Lola for a year now. After retiring from public school teaching, I ventured onto a new path - art therapy counseling. With my friend, Brenda, I began trying to help women and children become happier and more productive in their journey as well by creating discussion groups, retreats, and what not. What makes us different is that we are not about money. We are nonprofit and trying to stay that way. We know that those who m0st need our help are those who can least afford it. We understand the struggle. We respond to it.

Anyway, back to my name change. My first art class ever was Jane Mays' drawing class at the local community college. Somehow I managed to miss the first week of class and appeared the second week. A nice young man named Mario came up to me and offered to catch me up to speed. He asked my name. I replied, "Vye," to which he said, "I dont' like zees name. Vat ees your real name?" After telling him Viola (vee-oh-lah), he said, "In my country ve call you Lola." So there it is, folks, I've been rededicated to this world as Lola.

Names are important. My family hate my new name. It's my art name, I tell them. I love it and so do my new colleagues in art and writing. So, tell us about you. What is your name and how were you named that? Or did you change your name, too?

With greatest affection and love and peace, we hope to hear from you very soon! If you want to subscribe via the Internet to our magaletter, all we need is your name and email address!

Today's Spiritual Women
Lola, Brenda, and Hap